What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
