Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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