I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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