and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I only lived at night.
I need to stop coming to work sober
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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