This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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