she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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