Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
