did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
