If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize