Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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