Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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