At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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