On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
