There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
