i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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