did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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