is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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