2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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