Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
