im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
