he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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