Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
