So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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