Do you still have your period?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
