I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it glows. i had to have it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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