I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
