FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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