I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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