im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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