We're facebook friends in real life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yes Iām serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
