ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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