I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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