I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
