I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
