I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.