i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.