Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us