yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
