She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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