Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i dont even know how to be here
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize