New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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