I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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