Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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