they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i think i just lost a toe
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
