I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
