idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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