what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
