shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
