peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.