If i come over, it means nothing
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
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Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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