Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?

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  (305): why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do? http://tfl.nu/hnao
  Replies (18) Good night (742) Bad night (5822)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true

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  (317): Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true http://tfl.nu/12zv
  Replies (34) Good night (5812) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (840) Bad night (6406)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history

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  (585): Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history http://tfl.nu/gm9f
  Replies (17) Good night (4325) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

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  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (12095) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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  (217): The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time. http://tfl.nu/mdb9
  Replies (105) Good night (1509) Bad night (6522)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

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  (347): it's been a while because I don't count the hooker http://tfl.nu/ahgm
  Replies (10) Good night (866) Bad night (3198)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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  (707): I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet http://tfl.nu/0aqf
  Replies (10) Good night (1819) Bad night (3581)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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  (480): I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading http://tfl.nu/eqt2
  Replies (8) Good night (2221) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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  (678): So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch. http://tfl.nu/2vud
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (1206) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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  (586): Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent. http://tfl.nu/up93
  Replies (5) Good night (890) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here

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  (860): Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here http://tfl.nu/roow
  Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.

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  (973): We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt. http://tfl.nu/5mpd
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.

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  (613): he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult. http://tfl.nu/sdq1
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (176)

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