Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.