sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.