Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989

Replies (12) Good night (842) Bad night (3739)
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(804): View more from Virginia

"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to

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(804): "Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to http://tfl.nu/kp09

Replies (14) Good night (4311) Bad night (990)
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(716): View more from New York

i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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(716): i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious. http://tfl.nu/pkcy

Replies (5) Good night (2226) Bad night (939)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did mom hear me barking???

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

sooo high. sooo many dog friends

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(215): did mom hear me barking??? (267): oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one (215): sooo high. sooo many dog friends http://tfl.nu/gyg5

Replies (7) Good night (3598) Bad night (697)
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(440): View more from Ohio

somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

(310): View more from California

maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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(440): somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me (310): maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA http://tfl.nu/mrhy

Replies (1) Good night (1950) Bad night (697)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.

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(+61): I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/00sg

Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (641)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me

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(479): Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me http://tfl.nu/g33s

Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (621)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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(717): They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes http://tfl.nu/nt6q

Replies (4) Good night (1575) Bad night (537)
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(619): View more from California

Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.

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(619): Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/87wg

Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (1032)
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(360): View more from Washington

The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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(360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg

Replies (14) Good night (2498) Bad night (512)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Drinking loves me for WHO I am

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(905): Drinking loves me for WHO I am http://tfl.nu/nlm7

Replies (3) Good night (1128) Bad night (329)
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(716): View more from New York

Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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(716): Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog? http://tfl.nu/399r

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (348)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?

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(304): How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service? http://tfl.nu/aku2

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (335)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.

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(970): Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/2i7x

Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (283)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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(336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra

Replies (3) Good night (240) Bad night (790)

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