i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What a dumb baby whore.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.