Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.