Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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  (734): I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!! http://tfl.nu/dwqd
  Replies (6) Good night (741) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

  (785): View more from Kansas

  you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

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  (620): my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!" (785): you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me? http://tfl.nu/e8og
  Replies (37) Good night (970) Bad night (3781)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4744) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

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  (716): I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas. http://tfl.nu/cqgv
  Replies (23) Good night (4642) Bad night (1373)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.

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  (501): Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to. http://tfl.nu/4qds
  Replies (15) Good night (4287) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now

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  (903): Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now http://tfl.nu/6vco
  Replies (3) Good night (1540) Bad night (1133)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line

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  (435): Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line http://tfl.nu/ol2d
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.

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  (931): My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake. http://tfl.nu/j2xw
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.

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  (850): A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mp2j
  Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.

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  (443): The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts. http://tfl.nu/2k5o
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self

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  (423): Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self http://tfl.nu/t1xo
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.

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  (530): It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you. http://tfl.nu/5i3v
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

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  (309): He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys. http://tfl.nu/x76x
  Replies (11) Good night (539) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm

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  (501): We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm http://tfl.nu/2891
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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  (218): If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/s3qv
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (300)

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