Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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