Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
