I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
