Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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