ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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