I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
