wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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