Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
