Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
