If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Fuck appropriateness.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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