I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
